H – How to Talk About Mental Health With Loved Ones
Why These Conversations Matter
Opening up about mental health can feel uncomfortable, even with people we trust. You might worry about being judged, misunderstood, or becoming a burden. On the other hand, when a loved one confides in you, it can be hard to know what to say or how to help.
Mental health conversations matter because they create connection, reduce stigma, and remind us that we are not alone. These conversations shift mental health from something private and isolating to something that belongs within the circle of care we build with others.
When people share their struggles, it helps normalize emotional pain and creates room for empathy. Many clients find that once one person speaks openly, others begin to do the same. It can start a ripple effect of compassion. Whether you are reaching out for support or offering it, approaching these talks with honesty and empathy can make a real difference.
1. Choose the Right Time and Setting
Timing matters when it comes to sensitive conversations. Avoid starting a deep discussion when you or the other person is rushed, distracted, or upset. Instead, choose a calm, private moment when you can both focus.
The environment also influences how safe a person feels to open up. A quiet living room, car ride, or walk outside often creates space for genuine connection. In therapy, these environmental cues matter because they signal emotional availability and safety.
If you are the one sharing, you might start with something simple like, “Can we talk for a few minutes? There’s something I’ve been struggling with.” Setting the tone helps your loved one know that this is an intentional conversation, not a spontaneous venting session.
If you are on the listening end, show that you are ready to give your full attention. Turn off distractions, maintain eye contact, and keep your posture open. These small actions communicate, “I’m here, and you matter.”
In CBT, this type of environment helps reduce external stressors, allowing for better emotional regulation. When we feel safe, we access the parts of our brain that support reasoning, empathy, and self-reflection.
Reflective Prompt: Think of one time when you felt truly heard. What made that moment feel safe, and how can you recreate that environment for others?
2. Speak Honestly, Without Overexplaining
You do not need perfect words to talk about mental health. The goal is not to give a complete life story but to share what feels true and relevant. In CBT, clear, factual language helps express emotions without minimizing or catastrophizing them.
Try describing your experience directly:
• “Lately I’ve been feeling anxious and having trouble sleeping.”
• “I’m working with a therapist to manage stress and learn new coping tools.”
• “Some days are hard, but I’m taking steps to take care of myself.”
Sharing this way normalizes emotional challenges and shows that growth is possible. It also models vulnerability in a grounded way.
Avoid the instinct to overexplain or defend why you feel the way you do. When we over justify, we can slip into self-criticism or assume others will not understand. Instead, focus on describing your experience rather than proving it.
In trauma-informed care, this balance between openness and containment is key. You deserve to share your truth, but you also deserve to feel safe while doing it.
Practical Tip: Write down a few sentences about how you might describe your current emotions. Practicing out loud or journaling can make these conversations feel more natural when they happen.
3. Practice Active Listening and Validation
When someone opens up about their mental health, what they need most is understanding, not fixing. DBT teaches that validation does not mean agreement. It means communicating that another person’s feelings make sense given their experience.
Instead of rushing to solutions, try responses like:
• “That sounds really hard.”
• “I’m glad you told me.”
• “You’re not alone in this.”
Validation is one of the most powerful tools for emotional connection. It allows both people to feel grounded and safe. When you validate, you help regulate the other person’s nervous system and your own.
Many people unintentionally invalidate without realizing it. Phrases like “It could be worse” or “You’ll be fine” often come from good intentions but can leave someone feeling unseen. In therapy, we call this “toxic positivity,” where the pressure to stay upbeat overrides the reality of pain.
Active listening involves slowing down. Nod, pause, and summarize what you heard: “It sounds like this week has been exhausting for you.” These small acknowledgments show presence and empathy more than long advice ever could.
Reflective Prompt: The next time someone shares something vulnerable, focus on listening more than speaking. Notice how it changes the tone of the conversation.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries in the Conversation
Talking about mental health can bring up strong emotions for both people. It is okay to set limits around what you can discuss or handle in the moment. Boundaries are not barriers; they are guides for healthy connection.
If you feel emotionally flooded, it is fair to say, “I care about you and want to support you, but I think we should pause for now.” That simple boundary communicates honesty, not avoidance.
In therapy, boundaries protect both the helper and the one being helped. They keep support sustainable rather than overwhelming. Many caregivers or empathetic partners struggle with “emotional overreach,” where they take on too much of someone else’s pain. Over time, this can lead to compassion fatigue or burnout.
Practicing mindfulness before or after these talks can help you stay grounded. Simple grounding techniques like slow breathing or noticing physical sensations remind your body that it is safe.
Practical Tip: After a difficult talk, take a few minutes to check in with yourself. Ask, “Do I feel drained or steady?” Your body will tell you when you need rest.
5. Encourage Professional Help Without Pressure
If a loved one is struggling, it is natural to want to help. Still, it is important to remember that you cannot be someone’s therapist. Suggesting professional help can be caring, especially when framed as a form of empowerment rather than weakness.
You might say, “I think it could really help to talk with someone trained in this,” or “Would you like me to help you find a therapist?”
When someone resists the idea, validate their concerns. Acknowledge that reaching out for help can feel intimidating. Many people have internalized messages that therapy means something is “wrong” with them. Reassure them that therapy is a place for learning, not judgment.
CBT and SFBT both focus on building practical coping skills and reframing challenges. These approaches help clients set clear goals and take manageable steps forward.
If you are the one seeking therapy, you might explain this to loved ones to ease any worry: “Therapy helps me organize my thoughts and make sense of things. It’s like having a guide while I work on myself.”
In families, encouraging therapy can also model healthy interdependence. It shows that caring for mental health is as normal as seeing a doctor for physical health.
Reflective Prompt: How could you describe therapy in a way that fits your values and experiences?
Creating a Culture of Openness
When mental health becomes part of everyday conversation, everyone benefits. Talking about emotions does not have to happen only in crisis. It can happen during dinner, walks, or check-ins between friends.
You do not need to have all the answers to make a difference. Sometimes, just showing up with empathy is enough to start healing.
Families that talk about mental health tend to develop more resilience. Children learn emotional vocabulary and self-awareness. Partners learn how to communicate during stress. Friends feel freer to ask for support.
Therapy helps individuals and families build these communication patterns intentionally. Through guided sessions, clients learn how to express needs, respond to conflict, and repair misunderstandings.
If you are finding it hard to talk about your own mental health or want to learn new ways to communicate with loved ones, therapy can help. I offer online therapy for adults across Ohio, providing a safe space to build confidence, self-awareness, and emotional connection.
— Sam Long, LISW
Founder of Long Therapy Services, LLC
-Growth and Healing, Wherever You Are-
Ready to start? Contact me today or schedule through Headway or SonderMind.
Learn more by going to About or Services pages. Have specific questions go to FAQs.
The information on this page is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency department.
