A – Anxiety: It Isn’t Just in Your Head

When Anxiety Feels Like Too Much

Anxiety can show up in ways that surprise people. It is not just about feeling nervous or worried. It can cause your heart to race, your stomach to twist, and your thoughts to spin so fast that you cannot focus. You might feel on edge without knowing why. Many clients describe anxiety as a constant waiting for something bad to happen, even when everything looks fine on the outside.

That sense of unease is not weakness. It is your body’s alarm system misfiring. Anxiety affects both the brain and the body, and understanding that connection is the first step toward relief.

In therapy, we often explore how anxiety becomes a learned pattern. The brain tries to protect you by staying alert, but it sometimes confuses everyday stress with real danger. The body then reacts as if you are facing a threat, even when you are not. This cycle can make it feel like anxiety comes out of nowhere. In reality, your system is trying to keep you safe. Learning to read those signals with curiosity rather than fear helps you regain balance and choice.

A helpful starting point is to map your own anxiety pattern. Ask yourself what you notice first. Is it a body sensation, a thought, a behavior such as checking or reassurance seeking, or a strong emotion like dread or irritability? This personal map becomes a guide for targeted coping skills.

1. Recognize That Anxiety Lives in the Body, Too

Anxiety activates the stress response and releases adrenaline and cortisol. This response evolved to help us survive danger. It prepares your muscles to act, sharpens your senses, and speeds up your heart. This is useful in an emergency, but frequent activation can leave you tense, wired, and exhausted.

You may notice tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, a fluttering chest, or digestive changes. Some people feel a lump in the throat, a warm rush in the face, or pins and needles. These sensations are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are signs that your nervous system is on high alert.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and other somatic approaches help you tune into the body safely. The goal is to notice without judgment and to respond with gentle actions that settle your system. Try this simple exercise.

Sit in a supportive position. Inhale through your nose for a slow count of four. Pause for one count. Exhale through your mouth for a slow count of six. Repeat for one to two minutes. As you breathe, scan from head to toe. If you find tension, soften the area by two percent. That image helps you relax without forcing it.

Over time, this practice can change how your body interprets stress. Research summarized by the American Psychological Association shows that regular breathwork and mindfulness can lower baseline anxiety and improve heart rate variability. That means your system can shift more easily from alarm to rest.

You can also use grounding through the senses. Name five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you can taste or imagine tasting. This anchors attention in the present and reduces the pull of worry.

Reflective prompt: Which body signals show up most often for you, and what gentle response helps the most within two minutes or less?

2. Challenge the Thought Spiral

Anxiety often brings what if thinking. The mind scans for danger and predicts worst case scenarios. Your brain believes it is helping you prepare, but the cost is constant stress.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy teaches a structure for balanced thinking. When you catch a worry, write it down and test it.

Ask what evidence supports the thought. Ask what evidence does not. Consider another explanation that fits the facts. Picture what you would say to a friend with the same worry. Create one balanced thought you can repeat.

Here is a brief example. Original worry: I will mess up my presentation and everyone will think I am incompetent. Evidence for: I feel nervous and stumbled in practice last week. Evidence against: I have presented many times and received positive feedback. I practiced again and improved. Alternative view: I might feel anxious, and I can still do well enough. Most people are focused on their own tasks. Balanced thought: I feel nervous and I am prepared. I will focus on my key points and breathe between slides.

This may sound simple, but repetition matters. Meta analyses show that CBT is highly effective for anxiety because it trains attention, reduces unhelpful predictions, and builds a habit of reality testing. When paired with small behavioral steps, your brain learns that feared outcomes are far less common than predicted.

Two quick tools can help. The 80 percent rule reminds you that you do not need perfect performance. Aim for good enough. The 10-minute rule invites you to start a task for only ten minutes. Most people find their momentum after that first step.

Try this between sessions: Keep a two column note in your phone. Column one is the worry. Column two is the balanced response in one sentence or less. Review it at the start and end of your day.

3. Practice Emotional Regulation, Not Avoidance

Avoidance reduces anxiety in the short term, but it strengthens anxiety in the long term. When you skip the meeting, cancel the plan, or over prepare, your nervous system learns that avoidance equals safety. The next time, anxiety shows up sooner and stronger.

Emotional regulation skills help you face what you fear with support and structure. Dialectical Behavior Therapy teaches distress tolerance and emotion regulation tools that you can learn quickly and apply anywhere.

Start with emotion labeling. Name what you feel and why. For example, I feel anxious because I cannot predict how this will go. Naming the emotion calms the limbic system and engages the thinking part of the brain.

Next, choose one skill to ride out the wave. You can use paced breathing for two minutes, hold a cool object to bring down body temperature, or do five slow wall pushups to release adrenaline. You can also use the wise mind phrase. Tell yourself, this is uncomfortable and I can handle it. That sentence holds both reality and resilience at the same time.

When you are ready, add gradual exposure. Make a short ladder of steps that move toward your goal. If social anxiety shows up in team meetings, your ladder might include logging in early, speaking once to agree with a point, asking one question, and then sharing one idea. Move up a step only after the current step feels easier. Many clinical trials show that gradual exposure reduces avoidance and increases confidence.

Reflective prompt: What would your first, second, and third steps look like for one situation you have been avoiding?

4. Build a Daily Grounding Routine

Consistency builds resilience. A short daily routine helps train your attention to return to the present. You do not need long sessions. You need repeatable actions that fit into real life.

Here are options that work well for many clients.

Journaling for five minutes each morning. You can use three lines. What I feel. What I need. One small step I can take today. This clears mental clutter and points you toward action.

A brief outdoor walk. Notice colors, shapes, and sounds. If outside is not available, stand at a window and name what you see for one minute. Orientation to the environment helps your nervous system feel safer.

Mindful breathing during a mid-day break. Two minutes of four six breathing can reset your body. Pair it with a cue such as after I refill my water bottle or before I open my email.

Gentle movement. Shoulder rolls, neck stretches, or a short body scan can release held tension. Many people feel better after ninety seconds of movement.

If structure helps, set two reminders on your phone. One for a morning reset. One for an afternoon reset. Short, repeated practice lowers your baseline tension. Research in Frontiers in Psychology has shown that brief, consistent mindfulness and movement breaks reduce anxiety and improve focus across a workday.

Try this between sessions: Choose two quick practices from the list above. Do them at the same time every day for one week. Notice any shift in sleep, focus, or irritability.

5. Reach Out When You Need Support

Anxiety can make you feel like you must fix it alone. In reality, connection is part of how we heal. Talking with a supportive person can reduce the intensity of symptoms and can help you see options you could not see on your own.

Therapy offers a structured space to explore root causes and to practice new skills. For some, anxiety is linked to chronic stress, perfectionism, or a history of feeling unsafe. For others, it is tied to life transitions, health concerns, or burnout. Understanding your pattern guides a focused plan.

Solution Focused Brief Therapy emphasizes small, realistic steps. We look for exceptions, times when anxiety was a little lower or you coped a little better. Those exceptions are proof that change is already happening. Building on what works accelerates progress.

You can begin with three questions. When during the week does anxiety feel even five percent lighter? What were you doing and what supported that shift? Who helps you feel more grounded, and how can you involve them in simple, practical ways?

If anxiety affects sleep, relationships, or concentration, consider starting therapy. The National Institute of Mental Health notes that anxiety disorders are common and treatable. Many people wait to seek help because they believe anxiety is a personal flaw. It is not. It is a treatable health condition that responds to evidence-based care.

Support practice: Share one specific request with a trusted person. For example, I am practicing a short breathing routine. Can we do it together for two minutes after dinner this week?

6. Reclaiming Calm: Small Steps Toward Balance

Healing from anxiety is usually a series of small steps rather than one big leap. You do not need to eliminate anxiety to reclaim your life. You need to build flexibility and self-trust.

Start with one body skill, one thought skill, and one action skill. A body skill might be the four-six breathing technique. A thought skill might be a balanced statement you can repeat. An action skill might be the first rung on your exposure ladder. When you practice these three together, you teach your mind and body to move in the same direction.

It also helps to track progress in plain language. Use a one to ten scale for daily anxiety. Jot a few words about what helped on lower days. This gives you a personal playbook. Many clients find that two or three reliable tools make a bigger difference than a long list of strategies they rarely use.

Remember that anxiety often points to needs. It may be asking for rest, clearer boundaries, or less multitasking. It may be asking for connection or movement. Listening with compassion turns anxiety from a threat into information. That shift reduces fear and opens room for wise choices.

End of week reflection: What moved the needle by at least ten percent this week, and how can you repeat it in a simple way next week?

You Deserve Relief and Balance

Anxiety is not just in your head. It affects your body, your thoughts, and your daily routines. Understanding this connection helps you heal from the inside out. With the right support, you can move from living in fear to living with confidence and calm.

If you are ready to start addressing your anxiety, therapy can help you take that next step toward balance. I offer online therapy for adults across Ohio, providing a supportive space to help you manage anxiety, stress, and life transitions, wherever you are.

— Sam Long, LISW
Founder of Long Therapy Services, LLC
-Growth and Healing, Wherever You Are-

Ready to start? Contact me today or schedule through Headway or SonderMind.

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The information on this page is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency department.